We are The Parkdale Hookers, an alternative indie rock group based in Toronto, Canada.

We can best be described as AntiGlam. Take all the attributes you are supposed to associate with Rock ‘n Roll: glamour, being cool, being hip, being “in” – and get rid of it. What’s left is us. We’re like a trio of accountants who figured out a way to make Marshall stacks tax deductible and went with it

> News

Parkdale Hookers Implode, File For Bankruptcy

Global Markets Reeling as Punk Band in Tatters

/Toronto tPH Newswire/ – The Parkdale Hookers are no more. The stunning announcement out of Toronto has global markets in jitters as news filters out from the headquarters of the secretive hedge fund and punk rock group.

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Stunned employees depart tPH Intl. HQ for the last time.

The Board of Directors has ousted the top executives and regulators are scrambling to decipher the complex web of business entities and financial derivatives the group may or may not have been in control of.

Not a single member of the group was available for comment:

CFO and drummer Mark Collins has apparently already moved on, now acting in an EVP capacity for a large publicly traded technology company. According to a terse press release issued by a PR firm known to have represented Collins in the past, “He is under NDA and cannot name his employer. Mr. Collins is no longer a member of tPH International and has divested all of his shareholdings.”

Phil Emery has surfaced as co-host on Ryerson’s Songtalk radio and contrary to a recent twitter rumour will not be hosting the 2015 Oscars.

CEO Mark Jeftovic has reportedly left the country. A Dutch expat near Roca Milagro, Panama related stories to local reporters that the ostensible frontman is “out there, somewhere”, gesturing toward the jungle. “He is hopped up on nootropic brain enhancers and holed up with guns, a bitcoin wallet and about a half tonne of tinned food. He will not talk about the Hookers. All he talks about is ‘the impending collapse of the global financial system‘”.

With the unsigned rock group possibly being counter-party to a staggering estimated 92 trillion dollars of complex derivatives, credit default swaps and leveraged futures, financial commentators wonder if that is a self-fulfilling prophecy….

 Related Video: The Parkdale Hookers, Multi-Media World

> Audio

Waiting a long time

Grab an ear-ful of “Waiting a long time” from the first EP – “Polyester Fire Starter”

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Click here to buy the CD now – quantities are extremely limited.

> News

Parkdale Hookers Implode, File For Bankruptcy

Global Markets Reeling as Punk Band in Tatters /Toronto tPH Newswire/ – The Parkdale Hookers are no more. The stunning announcement out of Toronto has global markets in jitters as news filters out from the headquarters of the secretive hedge fund and punk rock group. The Board of Directors has ousted the top executives and … Read the Rest ->

> News

The Story Behind “Echo Bubble Overdrive”

The Parkdale Hookers International Inc. (a.k.a “The Parkdale Hookers”) is a Toronto-based business conglomerate, hedge fund and alternative rock group. The group formed in 2001 with the founding members, Noise (Chief Marketing Officer), Mark Jeftovic (CEO) and ex-Landslide drummer Dan Miles. After Miles left the group in 2004 to take a position in Jim Flaherty’s … Read the Rest ->

> Dates

Sat. Nov. 3, 2012 10pm: Live at The Sister (formerly Mitzi’s) with Maryanne’s UFO & Garage Baby

This coming Saturday we’ll be playing with one of our fav bands: Garage Baby. They always bring a killer show. Needless to say, we’re stoked. We’ll be on sharply at 10pm, followed by Maryanne’s UFO at 11, with Garage Baby kicking the place at 12pm. Don’t miss it!